On July 14th HyperOne revealed its new CEO…

Boris Jonhson? Oh for fucks sake…

I’m going to preface this by stating I don’t know if these actors are actually involved in HyperOne or not. This is due to the stock headshots used.

With that out of the way, “Boris Jonhson” is actor, writer and producer Jared Polivka:

HyperOne’s CEO announcement was followed up a week later with Shavez Anwar, “Operation Head of Asia Pacific”, and COO Eva Martin.

I didn’t bother looking up Shavez Anwar or “Florine” (her executive role isn’t specified), but “Eva Martin” is Los Angeles based actor Chrissy Bonilla:

Apparently Bonilla is heading up a “coming soon” HyperOne corporate Zoom call.

Also “coming soon” is an address from Sam Lee, MIA since HyperFund collapsed last year.

Lee is believed to be hiding out from authorities in Dubai.

In other news, HyperOne’s official Twitter account was recently suspended for “violating Twitter’s rules”:

Actor executives, badly cropped Sam Lee photos, social media profiles getting suspended… I think it’s time to end the joke fellas.